Category: Pregnancy & Birth
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Becoming a Servant-Hearted Mother (Guest Post for Joyful Life Magazine)
No one told me to test first thing in the morning when HCG levels are the easiest to measure. I took the test in the late afternoon, workday finished and my husband waiting in our bedroom for me to announce the result one way or the other. With the bathroom door closed, I fumbled with […]
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A Grief Experienced
Her bright blue eyes look up at me. I smile at her as I reach for my mascara. Her pudgy baby hands reach up to me and I can’t resist. I pick her up and settle her little bottom on top of my pregnant belly. I rest my forehead on hers and then kiss the […]
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Recognizing Postpartum Depression and Getting the Help You Need
I didn’t think it would happen to me. These kinds of things happen to someone else. Not me. Never me. Most of my problems throughout my life have been self-inflicted. I believed if I managed things right, I could avoid things like postpartum depression. When it crept up on me, ever so slowly and subtly, […]
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My Broken Postpartum Body
The scent of candle wicks and sweat hung in the air as her newborn cry ushered out my last strained moan. Hot tears tumbled from my eyes, dripping down my neck, and onto the baby before mingling into the water around us. They were tears of gratitude, but if I’m honest, equally tears of relief. […]
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Facing Postpartum Depression (Part 2)
(This essay is Part 2 of Facing Postpartum Depression. Read Part 1 here.) A few weeks after my third baby, Ruthie, was born, her 1-year old brother fell off the changing table. It happened exactly like they always say: “It only takes a second.” Ruthie was crying in the crib behind me, so I turned […]
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Facing Postpartum Depression (Part 1)
Our second son was two months old. My husband and I laid in bed long after we should have been sleeping. In the depths of February, the blue flannel sheets and heavy duvet stretched over us were not enough to keep me from shivering. Evan wrapped his arm across me, while I faced the wall. […]
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When Pregnancy Isn’t The Plan (Part 3)
Read part 1 (Pregnancy) and part 2 (Birth) of this story here! I delivered my daughter over winter break from college. I received my acceptance to an accelerated nursing program the day I went into labor, two weeks after my due date. Once I brought my baby home from the NICU and settled in at […]
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New Baby, New Mom
The moment she was born, I was born. I recall this moment where I was pushing- surrounded by nurses, legs warm and heavy from anesthesia, bright lights in my face, and realizing this was it. She was coming. I believe this moment stands out so clearly in my memory because I stood at a threshold […]
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Birth Scars
The Peruvian Spanish I heard all around me was becoming more confusing as the contraction intensified. My husband was ushered out of the room to make a calm, yet desperate phone call to my father in the States requesting an immediate wire transfer of money for the emergency caesarean I was being prepped for. I […]
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A Year Through Grief
Originally written on November 12, 2016, the anniversary of my first miscarriage. Anniversaries are a funny thing. We send cards and throw parties when years pass since the days worth celebrating. Cakes are shared, glasses are raised. I just got a reminder in the mail that it’s been another year as a travel rewards member. […]