I Don’t Want To Know

Dear Moms of the Internet,

Can I  be honest for a hot second here? I don’t want to know how awesome your life is.

There. I said it. Now you know what a terrible person I am.

You post pictures of yourself with your two-year-old baking oatmeal cookies in a perfectly tidy kitchen. My two year old couldn’t sit still long enough to stir a bowl before it would splat on the floor. Besides, where are you getting all this time to bake? Ugh. I don’t want to know.

You post pictures of your children reading on the couch together – heads nuzzled into each other’s shoulders. My kids can’t sit in the backseat of our car without someone, somehow having their eye poked out by another. Why are your children so calm and considerate towards each other? Don’t tell me that you don’t feed them anything with sugar in it. I don’t want to know.

You post pictures of your picture perfect living rooms with fresh flowers and classical books sitting prettily on your coffee table. Is that a 9-year-old, in the background, practicing the piano without being asked? Nevermind. I don’t want to know.

You post pictures of yourself with a laptop, cup of tea, and a candle lit. You tell us that your husband has taken the kids away for the whole day so you can have “time to yourself”. Taking “time for myself” is when my husband is home and is able to fend off the children while I try to take a poop in privacy. Did you just say that you are taking this, “time for yourself”, to write your book on how to be “a mom who creates meaningful moments”? I absolutely don’t want to know.

I don’t want to know how awesome your life is.

I want to know that your two-year-old had a tantrum after you told her she couldn’t eat the cookie batter.

I want to know that your children read for about 5 minutes before one of them jumped on the other one’s head and tried to blame the whole scandal on the dog.

I want to know that your living room only looks that lovely when you are taking a picture for your Instagram. While you were positioning your classical books on the coffee table, you  were screaming at your nine-year-old, “If you don’t practice your piano, I am taking the iPad away for a week!”

I want to know that the entire time your husband took the kids away so you could get a  “break”, you wasted it by perusing on Pinterest and stalking everyone else’s feeds saying, “I wish my life was awesome as how their’s looks.”

When I see the edited and filtered version of your life portrayed on the Internet, I feel inadequate. I feel like I am the only one who is struggling to stay afloat. I feel like your life is always awesome and mine is not.

I want to know this is not true.

Your friend,

@InadequateMom
#idontwanttoknow

Noelle Rhodes is a researcher, speaker, and podcaster. She is the podcast producer/host for Friending Podcast and is a regular co-host for the podcast, Slices of Life. She lives in North Jersey with her hot husband and two wild children. She is a big fan of Constant Comment Tea, the Oscars, and Lesley Knope. Noelle is passionate about helping women empower women through the art of friendship.